Tripping on a Trip Part 4

Tuesday

After getting up at 7am I groggily made my way down to the breakfast area, there were a few other geeky JETs already there, I don�ft know why the hell they were up so early for? I sat at a table next to a fat guy called Robert who was from Kumamoto; he looks like that fat American guy Michael Moore. There was this other guy that looked like a freak, he had combed all his hair forward, so he looked like a sheep dog, but hey, who am I to speak about freaks? I was the one with flaming gay earrings on the pretence that they were gay detectors. They did work though, some gay Japanese guy at the conference said �eI like your earrings�f I made sure I stayed away from him, or at least my butt was always covered.

So we were at the table with Robert. He�fs amusing, as he doesn�ft know how annoying he is. Whenever someone talks about something, he quickly jumps in to talk about himself. When the conversation was about how some guy had a pigeon in his house, Robert quickly cut him off to talk about how the cupboards in his apartment are accessible for pigeons, he did this quite a few times, and it was funny, although I don�ft know how the people in his area handle him. One of my friends from his city said that he ticked �eSmoker�f on his preferences for hotel room, knowing that he wouldn�ft have to room with Robert because he is a non-smoker. When we were discussing room mates Robert told us that he had a female, this was unusual as they usually group the sexes together, I wasn�ft sure if it was that they thought Robert was a hermaphrodite or that he is incapable of sustaining an erection long enough to do any sexual damage on anyone, either way we had a laugh when we asked what his roommates name was, when he replied Alexis. We said Whoa! that chick is the hottest fox in Kumamoto! Just for good measure, I told him that she was receiving medication for her nymphomania. Robert did his geeky chuckle and said that slipping the hotel man some cash had paid off. Good old Robert. Geeks die-hard.

So during breakfast I met up with Kim who lives in the neighboring prefecture Oita. Her friend Linda was coming along to Universal Studios Japan (USJ) as well. We left the hotel out the back door and traveled for half price to Osaka, ahhhh nothing better than doing something on the sly; it took two train rides before the girls joined in on the act. It became a little absurd when Linda asked us if she could pass as a 15 year old child for the entrance fee into USJ, Japanese are trusting, but maybe not that trusting.

USJ was full of rides which you had to sit through 10min of bullshit before you could jump on, I enjoyed being in a place where they played nothing but western music and everything looked non-Japanese. I got bummed out on the Jurassic park ride, at the end of the ride when you go down their 30ft drop a camera takes your pic, on our 2nd ride I decided to stand up and pose. But they stopped the ride before we went down and some Japanese guy came out and told me to sit down so we could continue, I waited till we were just about to go down the drop and quickly stood up. Greg 1 USJ 0.

We stayed the whole day at USJ and got heaps of presents and photos, even though it was expensive it was cool to get out and enjoy Japan.

We returned back to the hotel and I went and freshened up, and then headed into the city, my boys were already in the city wrecking havoc, so I thought that I should join them in ruining japans perception of gaijin. On the way in I was sitting next to an American girl, she asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her and her two friends, normally I would say �eno�f, but I sort of wanted to see what its like outside of my comfort zone. The two guys were all right and dinner wasn�ft so bad but I was glad to split from them afterwards. I eventually met up with Adam and the gang, they were drunk as skunks and were heading to the next bar, when we got inside it was like a meat market! All these JET girls who hadn�ft had any for 8 months and they were looking for some easy meat, it was kinda sad. But I was glad to sit back and enjoy the parlay of drunken courting that was unfolding in front of my eyes, even better was the fact that I met up with another kiwi girl who I sat next to on the flight over to Japan when I first came. Seeing as we both had partners, we could marvel at the desperateness oozing from the four corners of the club.

The best thing about the club was the little step coming through the front door, it was usually a good drunkenness indicator, there would be all sorts of people tripping over showing how pissed or uncoordinated they were, a good laugh all round.

During my time in the bar, my good Texan friend Jason decided that he was going to have a fight, he asked me to watch his back. I said sure, I hadn�ft drunk that night apart from one beer, so I figured I could still punch relatively straight. Nothing eventuated until he turned his attention towards me and said �eyou�fre big, maybe I should fight you�f this came as a surprise to me, due to the serious zombie look on his face. So I tried to explain that we were a team, and you don�ft punch your teammates, this seemed to satisfy him or at least confuse him for the time being, and he went to pick a fight on the dance floor with someone else. I took off my �eI love Jason�f badge and went with Mark to a Jamaican club.

After walking around in circles for 30min, we finally found the place, it sucked pretty bad, so Mark decided in his drunken state that we should walk back to the Hotel where we were staying, this must have been at least a 15km walk, I tried to talk him out of it, but he was adamant that it would be an adventure, reluctantly I accepted and we started our journey.

Along the way we recruited an office chair that was lying in the rubbish outside of a shop, we started to ride it along the footpath and christened it �eCharlie the chair�f, we had a brain wave that we could document our adventure by taking pictures of Charlie the chair with various people we meet. This didn�ft go down to well with the people we tried to make stand next to Charlie, I don�ft know if he smelt or spoke bad Japanese like us, it wasn�ft until we saw a few cop cars coming along the street that we realized we should take Charlie and lay low. We eventually made it to the big bridge that separates the main island from the island which had our hotel on it, after using an old Jedi mind trick on Mark to tell him we couldn�ft go any further, we hailed a cab and put Charlie in with us, and went back to the hotel. We saved 500\ on our fare because we had walked quite far. Seeing as mark was the drunk one, I made him take Charlie up to his room; needless to say the pictures we got were sufficient to make a good picture book. Although maybe the kids wouldn�ft find it exciting!

I finally got to bed at 3am and set my wakeup call for 7am.