Note to US Voters

Hi, Y'all!

I know no right-thinking individual would ever read this, but I'd just like to invite any and all people who wouldn't normally vote to just remember exactly what's going on now. I think you have about two years to hang onto the thought, past all the upcoming tax cuts and bullshit which will happen in the year before the election.

I, personally, have never been to the United States. However, I do have the odd distinction of being an American citizen. In general, entering the US post 9/11 makes me a little nervous, considering I guess a citizen who's never been there is kinda prime suspect for anal probing in these paranoid days. But then I remember that Dad named me after a religion he'd already decided he couldn't be arsed with and I thank my friend Jesus my name's not Osama.

Because of the whole issue with Iraq at present, I had considered giving up my US citizenship. This wouldn't be a symbolic act, I intend to live there one day. In the end, however, I've decided on the most Clare Short* of solutions, reasoning that a dissenter with no vote is worse than a dissenter with a vote and without the moral high ground. After all, if everyone that dislikes the Texan gives up their right to vote him out, it's going to be a very long time before a Democrat sees office again.

So here's the deal. I'm going to try and be in the States during the next elections. I believe, since I've never been there, that I need to become a resident before doing so. My sister has agreed, and hopefully I can convince my brother, too. It'll be a nice fat family holiday of Bush-ousters. I'd like to urge anyone who has a vote valid in the States who doesn't agree with what's going on to find a way to cast a vote in the next election. Even you Jehovah's Witnesses that don't believe in the system: do you think Jehovah likes votes less than global chaos? Are you willing to bet the Rapture on it?.

I know this won't go to more than a few people who could ever hear it. But right now, the only chance the world has to regain peace is for Bush to get kicked out of office, and kicked out big. Only a signal to the rest of the world that the three hundred million-odd potential voters in the US Presidential Election do not consider this ignoramus a moral authority will give anyone any hope that the US doesn't really feel the way it looks right now. Rise up, good people of America. Rise up against your oppressor before any more of you have to die.

* Clare Short, for our foreign readers, is the UK's Minister of International Development. She criticised our Glorious Leader, Mr Tony Tone Toni Blair and threatened to resign if the UK went to war without a second resolution from the UN. On the day it was decided, in William Hague's words,

"This Parliament witnessed one of the most spectacular failures to resign in the House's history."